Sunday, 10 April 2011

Watched - NO3 - Piranha (Alexandre Aja,2010) - Well, so much for Piranha. I have to admit I was looking forward to catching up with Aja's updating of Joe Dante's 1978 B-movie, I love a trashy film as much as I do an arthouse production. Granted, I am now well out of the target demographic for these movies but I still love the horror/exploitation genres, they are my rom-coms, my escapism, and every now and again a cracker such as Steve Miner's perfectly formed Lake Placid (1999) comes along and re-affirms my faith in cheap thrills, witty one liners and gory deaths. Piranha, however, was not one of those films, despite lashings of blood and knowing nods to previous killer fish flicks. Featuring an opening cameo a la Scream by Richard Dreyfuss and with several recognisable faces in the cast - Elisabeth Shue, Ving Rhames, Jerry O'Connell and Christopher Lloyd - you'd think this would be a fun way to kill ninety minutes right? Well, not in my book. Basically the plot of Jaws grafted onto an extended photshoot for a soft porn site, Piranha, whilst obviously not aiming to win any awards for characterisation or script, could at least have made the characters a little less two dimensional and bland, but no, they didn't bother. The script was utterly lame and the lack of any chemistry between the cast members just made the whole thing flat and uninspired .The special effects were surprisingly poor also, surprising because they were handled by Greg Nicotero who learnt his trade under the tutelage of effects legend Tom Savini. The thing with CGI is that it needs to be so damn good that you don't notice it, not stand out a mile like bad animation, and those fish just didn't cut it.

Aja attemtps to cover up the lack of spark and wit on show by filling as many frames as possible with naked female flesh, mainly Kelly Brook's. I guess that's what it comes down to in the end, as a horny eyed adolescent with a penchant for mass slaughter with my t&a this would have been brilliant, as a seen it all before cynic it was just really tiresome. Damn me for thinking it would be a B-movie to cherish and damn them for going for the lowest common denominator - the hormonal,less discerning and free spending male teen market.


  1. Felt let down by the promise of a guilty pleasure that turned into a by the numbers yawnfest.

    For a really good thing-in-the-water movie try the recent australian independent "Rogue" starring Sam worthington and Pitch Black's Radha Mitchell.

  2. Ugh! How disappointing, I loved the original film and have been looking forward to seeing this. I'll no doubt watch this anyway, but I'll make sure to lower my expectations even further.

    Great review, it's good to see someone who enjoys all types of film, regardless of how good they're actually perceived to be.

  3. Yeah, I was really disappointed, thought it would be fun but alas it was just annoying. You have to approach all films the same way, makes for much more enjoyable viewing I think.